Him: *whispering* you still awake
Me: *exhales loudly through harmonica*
HAN: Chewie what the hell are you doing
CHEWBACCA: *wearing a three piece suit* rawwrhh aarrhhr rweoorrar
HAN: why do you need a business loan
Cinderella: I lost another shoe
Prince Charming: *through clenched teeth* who is he
Me: Ah, the elusive white penny
Cashier: That’s a button
CASHIER: *squinting at credit card* Bruce Wayne, huh?
BATMAN: shit
HIM: somebody should probably do the dishes
ME: *drinking wine out of a bowling trophy* agree to disagree
Every time I watch Bambi I hope it will turn out differently, but I always end up drunk and covered in cool ranch doritos
[Pulled over]
Officer: license and registra- oh wow
Me *shirt covered in blood* hey buddy, my eyes are up here