Welcome to your 50’s.
I thought I saw a werewolf in my bathroom this morning then realized I forgot to pluck that one crazy chin hair.
Happy Halloween!
Why I hate technology:
Most of my lightbulbs now have a longer life expectancy than me.
“…She is survived by one son , three porch lights and one ceiling fan bulb”
I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role then realize I’m not even an actress.
To all of you Single Guys here on Twitter…
Don’t forget to buy your Wife something on Valentine’s Day.
That awkward moment when a zombie is looking for brains and he walks right past you…
Remember kids, don’t light your own fireworks. Have the adults who have been drinking all damn day do it.