At my age, a new driver’s license doesn’t have an Expires On date. It has a Renew If You Haven’t Expired On date.
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.
This kitten is just what my house needed.
Another female that doesn’t listen to me.
Wife really liked the “sex anytime, anywhere” coupon I gave her. Probably should have specified “with me”
Take it from me. Your wife will not like it if you say, “My twitter girls would do that”
I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds “by mouth” on the prescription label.
Doctor: Between 1 and 10, describe how much pain are you in?
Me: Is married a number?
That’s how I get the good meds…