Do you ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slow at the grocery store?
I wish it was socially acceptable to push someone back through a door if they don’t say thank you when you hold it for them.
By the age of 30 you should have a collection of grocery bags that you store in a grocery bag.
If you see me out in public but we haven’t spoken since high school let’s keep it that way.
A large group of other people’s children is called a “nope”
Million dollar idea: A Walmart, but with more than one register open
In high school I was best known as “Hey what’s your friends name?”
Before you buy anything online ask yourself “Am I prepared to see a sales ad for that same item on every social media site I visit until the day I die?”
*In the back of an ambulance
Me: Change the radio station
Paramedic: Please don’t speak. You need to save your energy
Me: Im not dying to a Nickelback song
Apparently “A shit ton” is not the correct response when a girl scout asks how many boxes.
A large group of other people’s children is called a “Nope”.