Picture a travel softball team doing a TikTok dance in a public restroom.
Now picture me stuck in the stall because they have to re-record 12 times to get it “post-worthy.”
Can you guess where I’m tweeting from?
I just ordered an iced coffee, black, with cream and sugar. Follow me for more just sheer stupidity.
Looking for someone to come help pack 17’s boxes for college. Must be able to handle crying. Bring tissues. No weirdos, please. I’m weird enough.
Pro tip: when you accidentally shrink your son’s favorite game day sweater, look him in the face, lie, and say he must be making huge gains at the gym.
Him: you know, a baby deliverer…
Me: you mean my OBGYN or the stork?
Fight Club but it’s just 19 and 16 duking it out over who takes “their” car—the one neither of them paid for
Dear 16, There are other ways to meet girls besides backing your car into theirs. Love, Exasperated Mom
Me, noticing my takeout salad came with a fork AND chopsticks: “Why would anyone eat a salad with chopsticks?”
Also me: tries to eat salad with chopsticks
Vixxxen is just a reindeer with a side hustle.
I just hit myself in the face with a hanger while putting clothes away. Zero ⭐️s. Do not recommend.
Dear 16, Just between you and me, you CAN actually use too much Axe body spray. Love, Exasperated Mom