@kimtopher22

I never set out to be the hottest woman in the nursing home yet here we are.

@kimtopher22

My dog gets up faster than I do when the microwave starts beeping.

@kimtopher22

The horror when you realize you’ve drunk DMd a picture, the relief when you see it’s you holding your neighbor’s new puppy.

@kimtopher22

I just got belted in my face by a rogue piece of carrot that fell out of my sports bra while doing downward facing dog.

@kimtopher22

You know how women go to bathrooms in packs? Now we do it on Zoom.

@kimtopher22

Sorry I’m late, I’ve been taking an elastic band out of my hair for the last three days.

@kimtopher22

Remember that decades long January? We didn’t know how good we had it.

@kimtopher22

If you’re not vacuuming sand out of your car two years later, did you really take it to the beach?

@kimtopher22

When I was in college, my mother didn’t sleep with my math professor to pass the class, I did. Kids have it so easy now.