People often wonder if Tom and Jerry were enemies offscreen, as well. According to Tom, “sort of.”
Girlfriend scrolled my search history, has LOTS of questions about the Lindbergh kidnapping. That makes two of us.
Doc thinks my mysterious headaches may lessen if I eat ice cream more slowly.
I may have failed as a lifeguard in myriad ways, but don’t you dare say I wasn’t punctual.
When I joined the ski patrol, I had only one mission in mind: fighting crime on ski slopes. I left quietly soon after.
My dentist calls himself the “tooth guy” because he’s fun and laid back and unlicensed.
Learn from your failures. For example, I will never eat Cheetos immediately before a job interview again.
I didn’t ask to be the “bad boy” of professional tennis. Probably why it never happened.
Oh, I’ll take your precious “bribe” but you should be ashamed of yourself. Also, thanks.
Finished building birdhouse. Bird couple coming by tomorrow. In their price range.
When buying a car, let the salesperson know you’ve done your research. What pedal does what, where the engine goes, etc.
When I was 16, my parents sat me down to give me “the talk” about professional wrestling.
Do pretentious people know they’re pretentious? A question I would pose to the great Sigmund Freud, had he not died in London in 1939.
Flying Monkey: Notice she only calls us “pretties” when she wants something.
Picnic ruined by underwhelming potato salad (and Fire ants).