When buying a car, let the salesperson know you’ve done your research. What pedal does what, where the engine goes, etc.
When I was 16, my parents sat me down to give me “the talk” about professional wrestling.
Do pretentious people know they’re pretentious? A question I would pose to the great Sigmund Freud, had he not died in London in 1939.
Flying Monkey: Notice she only calls us “pretties” when she wants something.
Picnic ruined by underwhelming potato salad (and Fire ants).
In the original fairy tale Goldilocks also reads all their diaries.
You’d think people would be more understanding it’s my first day as a tattoo artist.
Ordered our meals entirely in French, impressing my date and baffling the Applebee’s server.
Imagine there was a moment before Red Riding Hood arrived where the wolf in nightdress and sleeping hat asked himself what the hell he was doing.
“Pyromaniac” puts it strongly. I enjoy starting fires. It’s not my whole deal.
True, making your own beer can be costly and time consuming, but the finished product is just awful.
Can’t party the way I used to. Two rounds of Pin the Tail on the Donkey and I’m spent.
My self help-seminar, “Stop Blaming Others” canceled due to my incompetent staff.
I confess, when I asked you to put your feet in this bucket of wet cement, I had an ulterior motive.