Me: I won’t force religion on my child
Also me: *decorates 3’s room in all Marvel stuff*
Identify the lie(s) in my spouse’s statement:
“I just need to make a quick stop on our way out of town”
Nothing creates permanent frown lines quite like receiving anti-aging skin products as a birthday gift
The dog ate my kid’s snack and now he’s saying “get it back” like I’m Hermione Granger or something
LITTLE BO PEEP: I’ve lost my sheep! I can’t remember where to find them!
DOCTOR: Sounds like Lambnesia
My OnlyFans would be me editing your papers before you submit them.
OnlyFANS = Only Flawless Apostrophes ‘N Spelling