@kristendrum

*sees any 3 stars in a row*

(confidently)
“that’s orion’s belt”

@kristendrum

the cashier at Petsmart just told me I smell really good which would be a compliment if my competition wasn’t a bunch of dogs and gerbils

@kristendrum

“want to go grab some dinner?”

*lights cat on fire* sorry I can’t my cats on fire