What if we made sidewalks into trampolines? Fun and springy to walk on, and if someone looks at you wrong you can always bounce them into tomorrow.
I’m thru spelling thru “through.”
Enough is enuf.
Me: am I pretty?
Cat: I mean compared to what?
Me: never mind
If climate change were a real threat, we would all simply open our doors and air condition the world. C’mon man.
Considering all the air molecules pressing against me in this universe and the incredible strength I’m using to not implode, I really shouldn’t have to fast and work out to be hot. This is bullshit.
Whoever first said “I’m in a pickle” must have had the weirdest day.
I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.
Putting Mr. Bean in charge of the country would be a sweeping intellectual renaissance at this point.
Friendly reminder from your Cats: if you’re not brushing them now, you’ll be picking up hairballs later. Ok yes, it’s a threat.
I’ve noticed eating popcorn during video calls tends to get them wrapped right up. Give it a go.
*corporate state run media carnival*
Step right up folks, take your bait!
How low can we go, how low can we go? New lows every day!
I stood on the scale with one leg in the air and still weighed the same wtf.
My Cat turned up his nose at his new gourmet food so after a logical discussion failed to persuade, I pretended to eat some and it blew his mind. Anyway, he’s eating it now.
When I told someone at work I didn’t have plans for Halloween because I’m not 5 y/o, she seemed stunned. I guess I really do look young.
Money issues can seem overwhelming until you break it down and realize all you need to do is bring in a million times more per day. See? No problem.