@ladybroseph

Many said I couldn’t crossbreed peacocks and flamingos. Yet, I stand here today with my beloved flamingcocks as an inspiration to our youth.

@ladybroseph

*drives motorized scooter into meeting I’m late for, around the conference table, and out the door*

@ladybroseph

*sits*
This is nice.
*stands*
This is also pretty cool.
*lays down*
Oh okay this is my favorite.

@ladybroseph

“How often do you exercise?”
About 3 to 4 times a week.
“Be honest.”
2003.

@ladybroseph

Beyonce is a great actress because there is no way she has the time or energy to have the kind of sex she sings about.

@ladybroseph

*A burlap bag is pulled off your head, a bright spotlight is causing you to blink*
WHERE DOES THE ARCHIVED MICROSOFT OUTLOOK EMAIL GO.

@ladybroseph

Boy, are you a yellow sports car because I am embarrassed to be seen with you but I am very pleased with your performance.