I fought the law, and it turns out they have better resources than I do.
Alfred: *placing pancakes in the shape of the Bat Signal* Here are your pancakes, Master W-
Bruce: They’re Batcakes Alfred. Say “Batcakes!”
The British are coming! The British are coming! The British have to get up early! The British swear they’ll call you in the morning!
[sermon]
There will come a day when Christ will drive out evil from our land, and it will be the Judgment Day!
*T-1000 shifts nervously*
“I live as a mountain man because I enjoy the isolation and I hate people. Film crews are cool though.” – Mountain Men on History Channel
Chocolate fountains are so 20th century. This is the future. At my wedding we’re having a burrito fountain.
Hot, single, raccoons in your area want to rummage through your garbage.
The best thing about algebra in high school is that it’s in high school and I’m not.
America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy’s capital.
[skywriting]
Karen, do you have the checkbook? The skywriting guy won’t let me out of the plane until he gets his deposit.
I am “cool” and “chill” and “stuck inside the walk in freezer.”
I’m sorry Mr. Simmons. I really enjoy babysitting little Timmy, but I’m only 14. I need real money, not bitcoin.
Look, I’m not saying he’s a bad dentist. I’m just saying maybe you should check his references.
You can tell I come from a long line of hunters the way I cunningly stalk the rare Totino’s Frozen Pizza.
*two turtles strapping themselves to a sleeping cheetah*
Just you wait, Carl! This is gonna be awesome!