This weather better stop actin like my teenager’s mood
Me at work: I miss my little angels-my favorite little ppl on this planet
Me after an hour of being home: these kids are the spawn of satan
Last night, I was running from Justin Bieber-head polygamist in Utah-who demanded that I become his 4th wife.
I’m not taking any Benadryl tonight
Me to kid: go tell your brother dinner’s ready
The same kid right beside me:
Some ppl like I TRUST ONLY YOU WITH MY SECRET DONT TELL ANYBODY and then go tell it to 10 ppl
When McDonalds drive thru say they ain’t got what you want but youre stuck in the line- is this the walk of mcshame?
Me to my kids: don’t ever lie
Me serving any kind of meat: it’s chicken
Them: dating isn’t hard you just gotta put yourself out there
Me: ok got it
Me: wades through every single customer review and image before making an online purchase
Also me after receiving item: I will die before I rate this product
These customers wanna come in at the most inconvenient times
-me during my whole shift