Tried going out through the back of my wardrobe today but even Narnia’s closed.
[blood donor clinic]
dracula: can i order a pint please?
Bryan Adams: in the summer of ‘69
Danny Zuko: I remember it well because my mouth got all sandy
Backstreet Boys: everybody, rock your body
Dwayne Johnson: i got this
Me: the vacuum broke
Husband: that sucks
Me: no it doesn’t
Priest: look son, I think you should kick the habit
Me: ok
*nun screams*
Me: I’d like to withdraw some daylight from my savings please
Bank: sorry no
Me: look I’ve been inside for 8 weeks now, there must be *something* in there
Bank: ok thats not really how this works
Me: omg this is daylight robbery
The Beatles: 🎶 lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song
Van Gogh: here you go