@lildandeli0n

I’m pretty sure my soulmate will come through that door.

-Me, at KFC

@lildandeli0n

If I get killed, would you make my chalk outline slimmer? Thanks.

@lildandeli0n

Life is not like a box of chocolates. Life is more like opening the freezer and having everything fall onto you.

@lildandeli0n

Caller: I’m your worst nightmare.

Me: Whaaat?? You’re a sugar free cookie??

@lildandeli0n

*Notices that boss is about to walk into glass door*
*Lets nature run its course*

@lildandeli0n

[Gets Twitter error: “Somehow, somewhere, something went wrong”]

I know Twitter, I know.

That’s why I’m here.