I identify as an antique shop.
Support your local cemetery
Scooby-Doo gave me unrealistic expectations about how often a human, dressed as a monster, would chase me.
Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend, never owned a murdery cat.
I just wrote a $1500 check for a cow, like some kind of 1930s housewife.
5 just told me she is on the phone and it’s not ok to interrupt her work call. Then hushed me as she walked away explained to her coworker how hard it is to work with parents around.
Her “phone” is the kitchen calculator.
TMNT gave me unrealistic expectations of city sewer systems.