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Page of living_marble's best tweets

@living_marble : Pennywise does live in the sewer, rent free. That speaks to financial discipline. And he eats children, who are also free. Based on that, I'm gonna say the name is more likely earnest than ironic.

@living_marble: Scarecrow: why aren't u scared of me?
Batman: why would...wait. do u think I'm a crow?
SC: ur not a crow?
BM: *hurt* No *quietly* I'm a bat

@living_marble: Oh sure, the continents get to drift forever and it's "a natural geologic process" but when I do it I'm "wasting my potential."

@living_marble: Why must the weapons in Clue be so mundane? It's an imaginary murder. Why not a teapot full of bees, a laser gun, a poem so beautiful it kills?

@living_marble: MEN: we're gonna stop flirting at work and giving unasked-for hugs
WOMEN: great
MEN: wait, no, you don't understand, those were threats

@living_marble: Wild horses could easily drag me away from anything, even from my favorite activity. Wild horses are super crazy strong.

@living_marble: Ann: I wanna break up
Ed: why?
A: you use time travel to manipulate me
E: when, exactly, did you start to suspect this?
A: well... Hey!

@living_marble: Dearest wife,
The war on Christmas goes well. We found an elf stronghold & cut off its candy cane supply lines. Last night, they ate Donner.

@living_marble: Technically, it's only cannibalism if you eat the top half of the mermaid, your honour.