If a burglar broke in, my dog would lick their face. But bubbles, on the other hand…
me: *screams*
my husband: goddammit
My 5yo made me a zombie card with – what I am told are – a line of zombie GRAVES at the bottom.
GRAVES.
My husband got a notification that “there’s a familiar face” at the door.
It was the Amazon delivery guy, y’all.
my sentiments exactly
I showed my kids Pitch Perfect but now my 7yo is adamantly insisting we form a family acapella group and HOW DO I UNDO THIS????
once i realized that sugar is from cane and is clearly a vegetable, the diet really came together on its own
Once I surprised my husband with a murder mystery weekend, and not to brag, but it only took him an hour to get drunk and accuse everyone at our table of being the murderer.
okay but exactly how dangerous are these ducks?
EVERY picture my husband takes of me is like
thank us. at 3rd floor. hit yourself. you will. 3 months. from now.
My 5yo is writhing on the ground with her legs in the air screaming into a blanket while we wait for our food delivery.
It’s like looking in a mirror.
the official breakfast of 2021
i haven’t put on any weight i don’t know what you’re talking about
My 6yo told my husband he was “grounded for eternity,” but my 4yo pointed out that “you have to let him out when he dies so he can go to a cemetery.”