I just yanked a bag of Doritos away from my daughters and yelled “we’re about to eat dinner!” Then I finished the bag off by myself in the pantry.
My 3yo plays a version of hide-and-seek where if you find her, she cries.
With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.
Damn, Twitter. If I wanted to get ignored this hard, I’d yell at my kids
I was tired of arguing with my 3yo about getting dressed for school, so I made a sticker chart. Now, we also argue about stickers.
King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.
I attended a beautiful wedding today for my 8yo’s toy lizard. If Ronald and Liz can find each other, there’s hope for us all.
I’ve been singing “it’s the most wonderful time of the year” to my kids in honor of school starting, and wow, are they mad about it.
A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.
My husband and I are celebrating our “porcelain” anniversary in a few days. Sounds like someone is getting a new toilet this year.
I’m a strong, independent woman who needs you to come kill this moth in the basement.
Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.
How is the medicine expired already? I only bought it *checks notes* 9 years ago.
There are four little girls fighting in my house right now because they all want to play family, but nobody wants to be the mom. I’ve never felt so seen.
My friend said she’d bring a harmonica over for my daughter. What’s the fastest way to get a restraining order?