I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.
You know IT have given up when the error message reads ‘Something went wrong’.
Recipe:Add wine and cook out the alcohol.
Me: Whaaaaaa?
Someone should tell the Twitter ads I’m getting I can afford the next sub sandwich not ocean going vessel.
And Satan said “Let them drink instant coffee”.
I enjoy the outdoors when it stays outdoors.
Ah the throw away lines of children at the dinner table “I eat the shit food first”.
I dipped my toe into social media in 2015. I should have severed that toe.
I will never own a smart watch. I have enough things telling me what to do.
I’m trying to like people but boy oh boy do they make it hard.
Anyone who tells you to get kids to help more around the house has never asked kids to help more around the house.
A friend wants me to be friends with her friend. I now have one less friend.
*person walking on the road
Me: roads are for cars
*person gets off road as I pass
Also me: I can drive. I’m not going to hit you.
Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.
Thank you to all those people doing boring jobs with titles we don’t understand.