[Karaoke Bar]
Me: 🎶 Don’t you forget about me 🎶
Them: *ears bleeding* Definitely not possible.
Millipede Parent: This little piggy went to market…
*ten years later* …and this little piggy went weee all the way home.
Flight attendants will honestly open a pack of m&ms and feed the entire plane with it.
Here’s your m
And an m for you
[Hair Salon]
Stylist: What would you like?
Me: I want it 2 inches longer all over.
What if we just vaccinated a bunch of mosquitoes and released them?
Michelangelo: Why are you naked?
Me: How else are you going to sculpt me like you did David?
Michelangelo: Dude, I’m a ninja turtle!
A pirate dating app called, “Shiver Me Tinders”