I’ve never dropped acid. I always get it in my mouth on the first try
Got a cut on my arm, someone on Facebook sent me healing vibes and PRESTO! two weeks later the cut fully healed this is not a joke people
Girl, tonight I’m gonna let my body do all the talking..
*squishes flab together to make a mouth out of my bellybutton* HELLOOO! LA LA LAA!
Her: are you even listening? I said I’m breaking up with you!
Me: *biting my burger into a Batman symbol* na na na na na na na na BUR-GERR!
[One week into body training]
Me: GOD this is taking so long
Trainer: how long were you expecting?
Me: …how long is Eye of the Tiger?
If you love something set it free.
*releases 4 year old son into downtown New York City*