Nothing makes sex more awkward than realizing your kid is awake…
and standing outside your door…
and playing the harmonica.
I used to think people who looked for sex on craigslist were rock bottom… Then I discovered twitter.
Daughter has amputated three dolls in the span of twelve hours. Really hoping our dog is smart enough to stay away from her.
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says “cheers” so…. no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
I’m not sure what my three-year-old needs more, naps or an exorcism.