@lukeplusone

It’s 2020 – you’d think they’d be able to make a year that doesn’t suck by now

@lukeplusone

I was conceived at a Pink Floyd concert, and while I’ve gone on with my life, my parents are still there waiting for them to finish playing Dark Side of the Moon.

@lukeplusone

The scary thing about helping my kid with her sixth grade homework is that even though it was a long time ago I don’t remember being as bad as I am now at sixth grade.

@lukeplusone

‘Why do birds suddenly appear’ is my favorite song about a group of people giving me the finger while I’m driving.

@lukeplusone

Kids today will tell their kids how they had to walk up the stairs at home both ways to get to school