I was called charming yesterday and I will not stand idly by for these bullshit accusations.
A large group of people is called an eww no thank you
I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.
Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.
My toxic trait is my personality or so I’ve been told.
Don’t worry when I get to heaven I’ll put in a good word for you guys
I’m never happier to not have small children than when I hear a disney on ice commercial
I wonder if my girlfriend jenniferbobmarklayla4362774463564636688 survived the bot purge?
Customer: you don’t want to see me when I’m mean
Me: I don’t want to see you when you’re happy either!
I once dated a woman that said I used to much garlic and I got rid of that vampire right quick
I asked my cat if they communicate by meowing, he didn’t answer, a couple minutes later I sneezed and he jumped off the chair looked back in disgust and meowed, I think we all know what he said…
I just said hello and waved to a baby and the baby puked I must not be looking good today
Sharp cheeses are so much better than dull cheeses
Sharp cheeses are so much better than dull cheeses
My PS5 died, I guess I need to make friends now.