. No Shoes
No Shirt
No Problem
Welcome To Walmart.
You can tell a lot about a person by
what they swallow first when a cop
pulls um over.
Hey Dad, your neighbor called,
they wanna know if you could
turn down your TV, they’ve
already heard this episode of
Law & Order.
“You can’t have your cake and eat
it too”People that don’t know how cake
works.
Mom
She gave me life
She gave me love
She gave me sarcasm
She gave me the ability to
cut brake lines so that it
looks like an accident.
“You think I’m smart, right?”
Not tonight baby, I’m too tired to fight.
Annnd that’s how the fight started.
When I was younger, I was so stupid,
I made bad decisions that will haunt
me for the rest of my life.And by “younger” I mean yesterday.
That awkward moment when the
Priest uses YOUR confession as the
theme for his sermon.Again.
” I gotta see this guys best tweet,
I’ll gift him Favstar Pro”.Said no one ever.
Don’t believe that bullshit.
Failure is ALWAYS an option.
Text:
OMG! I can’t believe you tweet such
vile, offensive, filthy, sick things.
You should be removed from society.
GET HELP!Love Mom XO
Favstar is like that uncle we all
have, he never works, but comes
around every few months asking
for money.
Kids, you can grow up and be
whoever you want …….. it’s called
identity theft.
I texted my ex,
I’m at a cemetery…..
wish you were here.
Rice: for when you’re not really
hungry but still wanna eat a 1000
of something.