Half of answering the landline as a kid was yelling “Mom! It’s for you!”
Whoever invented the spoon caused quite a stir.
Very, very few humans have walked on the lunar surface. You might say that they’re in the moonority.
That second remote is only useful for that one button on it which you push to switch from the first remote to the third remote.
There wasn’t WiFi in the days of Julius or Augustus Caesar. Back then gladiators scrolling Twitter would routinely have to pay Roman charges.
Mathematically there’s a very small percentage of the cat that is claws although she so often makes it seem otherwise.
The workers will arrive to install something in the kitchen. Let that sink in.
Luke, I am your uncle.
Luke, I am your third cousin.
Luke, I am your grandmother.– Skywalker family reunion
The conditioner I use is made with avocado oil. Not only is my hair soft, manageable, and shiny, but it also reminds me all day long about guacamole.
Why do they sell clementines in an orange fish net package? They’re already sexy.
Kids look forward to recess.
Adults look forward to Reese’s.
It’s a dad joke because the corniness is readily a parent.
Hi. This automated call is to let you know that the prescription you don’t need is available and that the one that you do need has been discontinued. Press one to continue to get annoying calls like this. Press two for the same thing.
Once new outdoor seating is installed here it’s over for you benches!
Other Whole Foods customer: In this light I can’t make out the color of this cheese. What color is this? I want something to serve with figs.
Lionel Richie: Yellow. Is it brie you’re looking for?