Seeing ads for bras is so funny cause it’s like seeing an ad for a house. I’m only gonna buy one, maybe two in my life. Chill out
I’m not “rich.” Actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you’re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
If ur late to an appt, just tell them u had another one, but were on time to that one. That way they associate you with punctuality
Fun: text friend Are you alone right now? They go Yes. Then u text back LOL
*Likes your fan page* *Hides activity from timeline*
Pregnancy test that says, “Your cart has 1 item in it”
This outfit is called Running Into Someone I Know Would Be The Ultimate Worst Thing That Could Happen
If you put dry teabags in shoes they absorb the odor. So your shoes smell good but the tea tastes so bad it’s almost not worth it
“How crazy is your ex? Crazy like my triceps?” “How sick is your mother? Sick like my triceps?”
Why do zombies all have such shitty clothes?! It’s like you JUST died, how did you mess up your shirt that bad