@maxlavergne

100% per cent of survey respondents said: help us get out of this tall tree. we didn’t know this survey involved being stuck in a tree

@maxlavergne

your honor, i nominate the real murderer for the ice bucket challenge!! [a guy stands up] nice

@maxlavergne

TIP: if ur worried about the airworthiness of the plane you’re on offer it a chip. If it eats it you’re on a seagull. Disembark immediately