Moth = Daughter.
Flame = Me, on a work video call.
Wife and daughter are doing a Friends marathon. It’s on 24/7.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
Cost me $200 to fill up my tank tonight. Don’t know why I bought a tank, so impractical.
Normalize saying “Yummy in my tummy” when the server asks about your meal.
Wife just read through all my tweets.
Her eyes are very slowly rolling back into place.
Gummy vitamins for dads called Dadgummit.
Welp, wife didn’t appreciate the dishes in the sink being arranged in a heart shape.