Always a metermaid never a meter
My face is very symmetrical…over the x-axis 🙁
party idea: “DUI or IUD?” u can only invite people who have one or both and u CAN’T divulge which
What do we want? A 2016 calendar! When do we want it? Late 2015!
There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house
Our scariest president was probably Rushmore, because he had four heads
After my ex and I broke up, I was in a really bad place (Florida)
Starbucks coffee is disgusting. First of all it tastes like soap, second of all u have to get it from dispensers in the BATHROOM????
LEGALIZE MEDICINAL MURDER
With inflation, it would be Mambo No. 6.59 in 2013
“It’s not you, it’s me.” – Humidity, to Heat
My face is very symmetrical…over the x-axis 🙁
We’re in the exact point of climate change as when wile e. coyote runs off the cliff but hasn’t looked down yet
my thigh gap is just a painted tunnel by Wile E. Coyote
In my opinion it’s the aborted fetus’ fault for not carrying a gun for protection