Why do we call it tunafish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?!!?
When you think about it, crime not withstanding, all cars are getaway cars
Interviewer: Your resume appears to have a few holes in it
Me: Yeah that would be from the ferrets
You ever look at a crazy person in a drive-thru window and scream “credit or debit is fine!” and then realize the window wasn’t open and you’re screaming at yourself?
Oh hey mom. Yeah the date went fine, I think she liked my jorts bc she kept glancing at them
*bolts upright in bed..
If there’s 24 hrs in a day how many hrs are in a night?!!?