80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.
I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target last night and, long story short I’m covering for Debbie this weekend.
Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was younger I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the tv channel.
Haters will see you walk on water and say it’s because you can’t swim
Todays yoga pose is Downward Spiral.
Rise and shine, people. It’ll be dark again in about an hour.
You can literally be in Autozone and your kid will still want something. WTF you want a alternator?
Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.
Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.