@michel_lesann

What psycho decided it was a good idea for kids to hunt for chocolate easter eggs right when the spring thaw reveals all the dog poop?

@michel_lesann

Why do they call it “a crystal meth addiction” and not “methamaddicts?”

@michel_lesann

10 years of ninja training, and now all I use it for is to quietly unwrap candies when the kids are in the other room.

@michel_lesann

I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me, but has just never been awake long enough to carry them out.

Advantage: human.