Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of michel_lesann's best tweets

@michel_lesann : What psycho decided it was a good idea for kids to hunt for chocolate easter eggs right when the spring thaw reveals all the dog poop?

@michel_lesann: Why do they call it "a crystal meth addiction" and not "methamaddicts?"

@michel_lesann: 10 years of ninja training, and now all I use it for is to quietly unwrap candies when the kids are in the other room.

@michel_lesann: I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me, but has just never been awake long enough to carry them out.

Advantage: human.

@michel_lesann: “Is there a genius in the house?! It’s an emergency!”
*I start to get up from table*
*wife discretely stops me*
*I silently agree with wife*