I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.
All I’m saying is once your kid passes first grade you can stop spending $$$ on school pictures. Second grade and up always gets their pictures taken after recess.
6 yo student: It’s hot. Why didn’t you wear shorts today?
Me: Teachers can’t wear shorts to work.
6: Is it because you’d show all your mosquito bites?
All I’m saying is anyone who thinks it’s a great idea to buy a black car with black leather seats, needs to make sure they test drive it on a 104° day.
I ordered a large pizza and before answering the door, I yelled, “Pizza is here,” so the delivery guy doesn’t think I’m eating a large all by myself.
Just finished reading my first grade students’ attempts at narrative writing. One student wrote about the “dinosaurs who lived a long time ago in 1990.”
It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”
The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.
Things that are more painful to step on than a Lego:
1. A gas pedal
Yesterday I took my first grade class to meet our new librarian. After leaving, one 6yo asked me if the old librarian left because she wanted to read different books.
Me (feeling good in my new work outfit)
6yo student: My grandma has that dress.
My class starting to design and build their leprechaun traps:
6yo boy: I don’t want to build a trap.
Me: Why not?
6: Gold coins are too heavy. I’ll just buy a lottery ticket.
In the seconds before I die, I hope I’m allowed to correct someone’s grammar.
Ah, tax refund season again. I wonder which appliance will break this year?
6yo: Teacher, are you married?
Me: No
6yo: Me either.