My battle cry is, I’M TRYING TO PEE! STOP KNOCKING ON THE DOOR!!
And 5’s battle cry is, I’M NOT KNOCKING ON THE DOOR! I’M KNOCKING ON THE WALL NEXT TO THE DOOR!
Is there anything more infuriating than the text you get confirming you’ve unsubscribed from the text chain you just unsubscribed from?
7yo niece, pointing at my belly: that’s your proof of baby.
Well, I WAS having a nice day.
4: MOM I NEED ANOTHER RED WINE!
Me, to the judging parents at the beach: RED VINE! She wants another licorice!!
Like I’d ever share my wine with her.
4: mama you’re a sweet tomato!
Me: Aw thank y-
4: because you’re round
Me: …
4: and plumpy
Me: go to your room
“That’s how kids get money. Loose teeth and chores.” -6yo niece schooling 4 on the way the world works
4 year olds really apologize like “I’m sorry I accidentally did that on purpose.”
Any time 4 chases our cat, she says “don’t worry kitty! It’s only me!”
And every time, I resist the urge to say “yeah I think the cat knows.”
Parenthood has made me so mature.
I just spilled my protein shake all over myself and all I’m saying is a donut would never do this to me.
My toddler was about to hit her head on a bar at the playground so I told her to duck and she quacked at me.
And then hit her head.