I’m not saying I’m the best husband, but I did perfectly time placing my dirty dish in the sink just as my wife was finishing up washing the dishes.
My kids found their Kit Kats and then accused me of hiding them. Like WTF, how shameful are these kids to go into my closet?
My wife banned iPads from my kids so my sweet angels stood in the hallway where they thought I couldn’t hear and whispered “Let’s ask dad because he always let us and then we can blame him when mommy asks”.
Me: *To my 5YO* Can I have your Twix? Those were my favorite at your age.
5YO: They used to make Twix when the world first started?
Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*
Me: Nice work with picking a random password.
Wife: It’s our anniversary.
Apparently you can’t complain to the restaurant staff about the loud kids when they are yours.
My wife inexplicably waited to the last minute to tell me that my kids have dance class today.
So annoying when she does this every week.
Did a great workout at home this morning by running 25 times up and down 15 flights of stairs to make sure the iron was unplugged.
My kids found their Kit Kats then accused me of hiding them. Like WTF, how shameful are these kids to go in to my closet?
How dare my wife accuse me of not helping her at home when I washed the dishes without her asking, just 6 months ago.
I’m over here having to get my kids snacks and stressing about life yet my parents are just sitting in their house, retired.
Went to college and completed every homework assignment so I could graduate and live the dream of doing my kids’ homework.
I had the audacity to tell my kid to get their own snack and now I’m standing in the corner thinking about my actions.
Kids don’t like it when you laugh at them after they step on their toys. Taking a video of it doesn’t help either.
Marriage tip: There is never an appropriate time after a meal your wife cooked to say “This is not what Jesus died for”.