don’t let me drive if ur gonna scream every time we almost die 馃檮
police: put ur hands behind ur back
me: are u mad at me
wife: go see if the baby sleeping
*walks into baby’s room*
baby: corporations exploit our
insecurities for profitme: no babe she woke af
me: wow the stars are beautiful
gf: omg babe they really are
me: u know who else is beautiful?
gf: *blushes* who? :3
me: Harambe