Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of minkpinkustink's best tweets

@minkpinkustink : whoever said misery loves company spelled calories wrong

@minkpinkustink: I don’t just have a chip on my shoulder— I’ve got the whole potato

@minkpinkustink: Can’t. Busy training my new cat to bite people who show up unannounced

@minkpinkustink: the chicken crossed the road for the same reason everyone else does— to avoid running into someone it knew

@minkpinkustink: love is out there. so are bigfoot and the loch ness monster

@minkpinkustink: bananaphobia: when you don’t have any nagging fears but your therapist puts you on the spot so you pick whatever you had for breakfast

@minkpinkustink: bought some granny panties— turns out they’re not even made of little old ladies

@minkpinkustink: After 17 years I can say with authority that the key to a long marriage is being too lazy to get up off the couch and set your spouse on fire