Sometimes I put my phone down and do things with two hands, like in the olden days.
Hey guys, remember when you could still refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad? Good times.
*decides to workout*
*lays on ground to do sit-up*
*find skittle on ground*
*has to pee*
*gets up to pee*
‘Two can play that game…’
-people who dont understand that’s how games usually work
People that say a watched pot never boils clearly don’t understand the second law of thermodynamics or are blind.
The difference between a brown noser and an ass kisser is depth perception.
The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.
Just saw a bumper sticker that said “supprt your local beaver” or maybe it said “support your local brewer” either way it’s sound advice.