The speed to which a toddler yells “no” in response to the question “are you ready for bed” is directly proportional to how tired they actually are.
We just got new neighbors and if they play their cards right I won’t know anything about them just like what’s-his-name that lived there before them.
Me: How was dinner?
Husband: Good!
Me. Just good? What could I have done to make it better?
Husband: …
*Next night*
Me: How’s dinner?
Husband: It was fantastic! Amazing!
Me: Don’t patronize me.
Husband: *sigh*
My kids super power is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it
If you want to add more flavor to your toddler’s food just put it on your plate and it becomes instantly irresistible to them follow for more parenting tips
My husband asked for a back scratcher for Father’s Day so apparently my days are numbered
You definitely shouldn’t go to Costco and buy the giant box of frozen mozzarella sticks so you and your family can eat them whenever you want. We are not ready for that as a species.
I should have peed before I left and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir
When I’m having a bad day nothing sets me off quite like trying to pull one wipe out of the container and 47 more coming with it
My kids never meet a drink he couldn’t spill
2: Mommy!!
Me: Yes?
2: NOOOOOOOOO!
I made the mistake of smelling one of my 6yo’s socks to see if it was dirty. I will now just assume all socks are dirty.
I went upstairs to grab my charger I brushed my hair, picked up some dirty clothes, changed my sons diaper, put on deodorant, came back downstairs, vacuumed the entire first floor & picked up some toys. I just sat down to plug in my phone & realized I never grabbed the charger.
Me carrying the weight of being the funniest person in my whole family
Can’t I have to change my underwear cause I blew my nose too hard