Gravy boat.
Gravy boat.
All the dishes are on my son’s bedroom floor so I’m drinking coffee from a GRAVY BOAT!
Whenever I think of you, I am grateful for the many, many miles between us.
Interviewer: What makes you unique?
Me: I’m loyal to a fault, don’t gossip, & work hard.
I: Yeah, so, you’re not really going to fit in.
Not to split hairs, but I called you “haughty,” not “hottie.”
If having a social media account makes you a journalist, changing a lightbulb makes me an electrician.
Lower your expectations.
Lower yet.
Keep going.
There.
Hi, I’m Nancy!
I come from a long line of successful people.
I decided to stop that tradition.
Yes, I am a fully grown woman.
No, I won’t leave this ball pit.
Shortly after firing up my Toro Power Sweep, I begin thinking of myself as a “leaf herder” and realize I need to get out more often.
When they spot a towel hanging neatly on a rack, teens consider it a personal challenge to rip it down, wad it up & leave it on the floor.
40-26-36.
My measurements?
Naw.
Just the three Chinese meal entrees I’m ordering.
It’s been six years since my job interview.
I’m beginning to suspect they chose someone else.
Newton’s amended 1st law of motion:
Objects dropped on the floor by teens will remain at rest for months unless acted upon by an angry Mom.
By a show of hands, how many of you are raising your hands?
I loved him with a fervor I normally reserved for carrot cake.
That.