While he was probing my mouth my dentist asked if I was doing anything nice this weekend and now he thinks I’m going to park a car far from a large bar in Armagh.
The popularity of this combination speaks of a world thus far hidden from me.
If like me you’ve ever been accused of being born in a barn and want to chat about it, remember, my door is always open.
Expert: your husband?
Woman: that’s right. Len.
Expert: well, as you can see Len’s flipping up men’s ties and if you look closely… there, see how he’s slipping potatoes into people’s bags? This is an activity we call ‘hi jinx’.
Woman: I thought it might be!The Antics Roadshow
“Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock”
“Who’s there?”
“An octopus”
Caught my son on an archaeology website looking at dirty pitchers.
If I could have dinner with one person, dead or alive, it would have to be Schrödinger’s cat.
Bob: What happened to you?
Me: Run over by a truck
Bob: [runs over by a truck] ok, now tell me what happened to you
Owl Sanctuary
Who called it a wolf in sheep’s clothing and not a woolf?
Flock of bats
The first rule of Oedipus Club: mum’s the word.
“Peanuts make me swell up like a beach ball”
“Is that an allergy?”
“No, simile”
Velcrow
Nose
