publisher: tell me all about it
orwell: it’s about a farm
publisher: sounds good
orwell: with animals
publisher: naturally
orwell: and they’re fascists
publisher: of course
tarot card reader: so that’s 3 death cards
me: but that means change or rebirth, right?
tarot card reader: *pulling out another death card* no
me: how can I impress your dad?
gf: he’s really into cars
me: ok
[later]
her dad: nice to meet youme: let’s talk about pixar’s finest movie
me: I invited colin for dinner tomorrow
her: is that the guy that always gets the day wrong?
*knock at the door*
me: yes
vet: I need to give your dog some shots
me: no he doesn’t drink
me: I’d like some ham please
server: ok how much
me: I really really want it
waiter: wine?
date: I don’t drink
waiter: water?
me: she said she doesn’t drink pal
me: I can’t decide what to have
waiter: what about the duck?
duck: I’ll have lasagna
her: there’s a spider in the bath
me: ok, I’ll get him a little towel
airport customs officer: *slowly unzipping my bag* anything to declare?
me: how many spiders am I allowed?
airport customs officer: *slowly doing my bag up again*
me: what’s your favorite book
her: I love 1984
me: just pick one
me: i don’t know what to order
waiter: the chef’s special?
me: I’m sure he is
waiter: would you like the bill?
me: no
me: can I buy a hotdog with ketchup?
him: no, cash only
waiter: we don’t allow giraffes in here sir
me: I’m not a giraffe
waiter: I know I’m just telling you