Everybody knows Tuesdays are the second marriage of the week. Optimistic. Hopeful. Definitely not like Monday, that so-and-so.
Much like a fairy tale princess I will sit here and wither away until some man somewhere is brave enough to bring me soup.
It isn’t enough to know you liked my tweet. I need a play by play. I want Twitter to tell me “Carl saw your tweet”. “Carl misinterpreted your tweet and had to read it again.” “Carl is now laughing at your tweet.”
Lookit me! Getting out of bed! Paying bills! Avoiding eye contact with the laundry!
Yep. Didn’t think about how much lemon jello shots would look like urine samples.
Been doing a lot of soul searching as of late and still have not found that darn thing.
To answer your question: No, I’ve never been sought after, but I did once confuse a man’s intentions toward my lasagna as being sought after so I married him.
(uses phone to push more food onto my fork)