there is no need for awkward apologies if you walk in on someone and they’re naked, just say “haha saw your doodle” and walk off. simples
“DOC TELL ME STRAIGHT”
doc: u got lou gherrigs disease
*cops barge in* ur under arrest
“FOR WHAT”
cop: mr gherrig reported a missing disease
i’ve always struggled spelling out “blood” with my fingers because it always comes out looking like “bbool”
WebMD would be more accurate if every search result diagnosed you as a hypochondriac.
If a duckling is a baby duck, I don’t want to eat dumplings.
thesaurus had the greatest vocabulary of all the dinosaurs
Just once, I’d like to see a cactus that isn’t flexing.