The Eggorcist
If they are stale enough you could easily kill two birds with one scone
making my kids wear corduroy pants so they can’t sneak up on me
12 yo: I say “mucho” to all my Spanish speaking friends
me: why?
12: bc it means so much to them
I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help
Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing
List of things my kids wanna talk about at bedtime
me: *barges into the room*
How dare you accuse me of eavesdropping!
them: ugh, could you be more annoying
me: oh god, yes
*trying to remember something*
brain: put your hands on hips
me: *gets something in my eye*
brain: put your finger in there too
my sister: snowboards
my brother: skateboards
me: charcuterie boards
Camel dough
If you leave your trash cans out all week you’ll always be the first to have them at the curb
Managing expectations
