Just discovered my 7yo wearing his underwear backwards again. Playing classical music while pregnant is bullshit.
8yo: …
6yo: …
8yo: …
6yo: …
8yo: …
6yo: …
8yo: ….Punches 6yo in the face.
Me: Woah,what the hell was that for?
8yo: He knows.
Just told my two kids that I love them both equally and the one with his shoes on the wrong feet totally bought it.
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
Someone asked me today what was the toughest thing about being a parent. I would have to say it’s the kids.
“Owen, you must hide this baby from Anakin Skywalker at all costs.”
“Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?”
“That’s cool.”
8yo: Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Me: Yes.
8yo: Where?
Me:…
8yo: WHERE!
6yo: (from outside) It’s spreading.
Me: I’m up.
No thank you GPS.I have this magic ring on my left hand that connects me to the nice young lady in the passenger’s seat who knows everything