Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of myboots111's best tweets

@myboots111 : Losing weight should be like losing your virginity

Once you lose it you can never get it back

@myboots111: I've been waking up with a headache for years

Unfortunately I'm married to it.

@myboots111: I'm at an age where "getting lucky" only means I have the house to myself...

@myboots111: *Sets cellphone ringtone to sound like office fire alarm

*calls cell phone